I and my girlfriend had an extended luncheon plan for the weekend. Being the usual lazy ass that we are, the original schedule of shopping, lunch, gossip and coffee got pushed to just gossip and lunch-two indispensable act for survival- food for thought and the belly.
Venue details shared. Bargain done. I hopped in an auto. The autowala(hired help) looked confident enough to know the place. All was in semblance until he decided to smoke.
Moi–(requesting earnestly) Smoking in public places is prohibited.
lui-nonchalantly-just ignoring me and enjoying his puff. Pretending he heard nothing.
Moi-(again in a bit of steely voice thinking at the back of mind- what does he think of himself – A hipster doofus) Please put out the smoke. I am allergic to it.
lui-(seemingly taking a notice) Err madam can I finish just this one.
Moi-(A bit authoritatively) Can you do it after dropping me.
lui–( Doing eager faster puffs with sheepish grin) why are you allergic to smoke?
Moi-(alarmed that I am dealing here with a butthead and now, in a more guarded tone) It makes me sick and would make you too one. (Playing on the psychological game of invoking fear of death)
lui-(still blowing confidently) But the smoke of the vehicle too is dangerous. Ain’t you breathing it too.
Moi-(understanding the remark that if one argues correctly, one is never wrong- well played!) I can’t avoid the traffic smoke but I can certainly avoid the cigarette smoke.
Lui-(giving me a look as if he’s a superior kind who has got fire in his hand. Smoke and fire is, literally, coming right out of my mouth.? Using his persuasion skills) It is a thriving business madam. I have seen girls of your age, smoke.
Moi-(the conversation, exceeding my patience limit, I am seething on the inside) I don’t smoke and encourage neither. If you wish to continue smoking, drop me midway and charge the half price.
Lui-(taking a long puff and relenting) Throwing the stub and just driving in silence.
Moi-(getting down at the scheduled venue contemplating on what had just happened) Handling the cash.
Should I thank him for not smoking? We both knew what had just happened. He had intelligently managed to smoke most of the way. All that I could utter as I handed him the cash was “thank you for smoking” :-/.