The Scars of “Abuse”

Dream and subconscious mind have a close association. Many studies have shown that when a person sleeps his/her conscious mind sleeps too but the subconscious half remains awake! Working round the clock, thinking and weaving solution to the problems that were either too mundane or too exhausting to deal with in real life.

I am jolted yet again by the subconscious self! I dreamt! Now that I ponder, it could all be attributed to the series of child rape, sexual abuse that I read repeatedly in the dailies. I dreamt that my cousin (though I feel her more of a sibling/ my alter ego) has confided in me the gory past of her traumatic childhood experiences. Experiences of sexual abuses she had as a child in the hands of “the bhaiyas”,”the uncles”, the trusted ones and insider in the family! It was shocking.  I vividly saw myself holding her hand in mine and tending her with motherly affection. Shedding a tear with her.. Feeling sorry that It did happen and that the past cannot be undone – like erasing a bad drawing from the canvas. But what I did promise was to accompany her in all her confrontation. To abuse the abusers in front of their loved ones. “The ones” who in the daylight play perfect gentleman. To expose their ghastly act publicly to every single human they possibly know. Scar them for life! Scar them possibly forever. Doing an eye for an eye – The law of retaliation….. Doing a highway – playing the “Veera” (protagonist from the movie Highway). I was awake now – subconsciously as well as consciously. I might have cried in my dream, but my tears were real.

After a dream like that, you are grateful that it was just a dream. I lay in my bed questioning should I be happy about the fact that it was only a dream – A bad dream?? Anger, Sorrow and fear were the feeling that I was crippled with. Anger against the ones who for the sake of momentary pleasure ruin the lives of innocent and betray the trust. It’s hard for me to not feel rancor towards the “beast” who commits such ghastly-unmanly-animal like act. Sorrow for the ones who go through such experiences, which leaves them shaken for life. I wonder what is left behind is a stirred soul incapable of trusting. Incapable of believing that the relationship can be good and fulfilling too. Fear for the condition that It’s still very prevalent and there are many more “veeras” who are suffering in silence.. Not knowing what’s happening to them (either they are too innocent to know or are fearful to say out loud – “jerk – back off”)

PS : Stats show 53% of children in our country are victims of sexual abuse.I strongly believe it’s much higher than this. Many of them go unaccounted for!